"Almost French" by Sarah Turnbull

Louis Garrel - THE French guyIf you have ever dated a French guy, you have got to read “Almost French,” by Sarah Turnbull because she nails the social misunderstandings dead-on and you will consequently die a happy death from laughter. From the language barriers to their schoolboy humor to their old-fashioned albeit charming style, the Australian author hilariously describes falling in love with her Frenchie, Frederic. One of my favorite parts of the book is when Frederic rants and raves about how the English language makes no sense—I’ve heard this before. Another part I really like is when Turnbull tries to convince Frederic that the scarf he is wearing makes him look like he’s from a different century—again, been here.

The second half of the story is less about her romance and more about Turnbull’s struggle to make friends in Paris and integrate herself into society. Although it was a little scary to learn how mean the French can be to outsiders, how cold they are at times, how women pit themselves against each other, and how unreceptive to they are to making friends, I suppose it was good to prepare myself for some potentially unfamiliar situations.

I’ve always been more afraid of French women than men, Turnbull told me why in “Almost French.” Turnbull has a horribly frustrating time trying to make French girlfriends because at parties nobody is welcoming or seemingly interested at all in getting to know her, she is pretty much ignored. She finally meets a Frenchwoman, notably a woman who’s lived outside of France for long periods of time, that tells her that women in France think of each other more as rivals and the reason nobody talks to her at parties is simply that after forming strong friendships over the teen years, the French generally think they’ve “got enough friends already.”

Another section of the book I really like is when Turnbull discusses French style and how the French stay slim yet eat horribly fattening foods. Turnbull is a journalist and has the opportunity to go to the couture shows, something I dream of doing in late January. Turnbull explains after some misunderstandings with Frederic that the French think that dressing poorly is rude to others, literally a foreign concept for me. She goes on to describe that although the French couture shows are the most lavish and theatrical, or out-their, fashion shows each year, street style in France has become more about dressing impeccably than about dressing uniquely.

Turnbull goes on to discuss weight where she admits to completely tossing out her former notions of health, reincorporating meat into her diet, and changing her breakfast from fruit and granola to coffee and a pain au chocolate. She doesn’t seem to completely understand how the French stay slim, but clearly, she says, portions, slow eating, and less consumption of alcohol have some to do with it. Shockingly enough, exercise is pretty rare and instead of hitting the treadmill after a baby, Frenchwomen go to spas where they get creamed up with anti-cellulite lotions and swim in saltwater concoctions.

Overall, “Almost French,” is hilarious and informative to anyone planning an extended stay in Paris.