One Way to Apply the Boon

I’m not a napper. I don’t “doze.” When you see me sleeping, you’re witnessing an act of dedication. That was all I could think about while going through security at the airport in Tel Aviv, Israel. It was a 13-hour flight, departing at 2:00 am, so I knew I had some serious snoozing to do; but with nothing but a disposable pillow and a fully upright position, I knew my body wasn’t going to have much to work with. But behold, I had a savior: a green glass bottle with a classy twist-off cap. I won’t tell you how many bottles of beer I drank quietly in my hidden corner of the terminal, but I can tell you the effect. It was fantastic. I no longer guiltily scanned the rows of people at my gate, picking out the potential terrorists (beer makes everyone look friendly). I threw away a gross amount of shekels on last minutes souvenirs (beer stimulates the economy). And by the time my plane was ready to board, I could hardly make it to my seat before falling asleep. But, most importantly and unexpectedly of all, taking off with a buzz is pretty much the world’s greatest roller coaster (seriously). I would have killed for such a luxury on the flight out from the States.