Emotionless

SmogThe first week has been surreal. I feel as if I'm going to wake up at any point to find myself on my bed in New York. The idea of studying abroad still hadn't hit me the morning of my departure. “Mom, I'm only gone for 4 months”, I reassuringly told her and she seemed to hold back tears. The drive to the airport failed to bring along any anticipation or nervousness. The bag check went smoothly, and I survived the walk to my cabin without a hitch. I was about to embark on a 19 hour journey to the opposite side of the world and I felt absolutely nothing. As I sat down in seat 35H next to a very quiet Asian lady I began to wonder what emotions I should be feeling. Should I be sad about leaving my family and friends? Should I be excited for the next 4 months? Should I at least be nervous about the airplane food?

19 hours and two rather satisfying airplane meals later, United flight 835 began its descent into Shanghai. Looking out the window I could see plains and farmland for miles. New York's towering skyscrapers were replaced by single level farm houses, some with tarps for roofs. And that's when it hit me, the first hint of emotion in almost a day. Nonchalance was quickly replaced with fear, excitement, regret and anticipation. The first thing I noticed was the intense pollution that thickly blankets the city. I looked out of the window of the shuttle bus and noticed an dully eerily glowing circle in the sky. After staring at it for a few seconds I realized it was the sun, struggling to shine through the smog.

I was slightly less culture shocked than some of my travel mates. I have been to Shanghai before, albeit 1 day when I was 13 years old, and I am conversant in Mandarin. Shanghai is a large and busy city. With more than twice the population of New York it teems life. Being a pedestrian in Shanghai is a skill, crossing the street is an art that takes practice. Hundreds of motorcycles, mopeds, and bicycles swerve between traffic at any given intersection. The concept of a line is nonexistent in Shanghai. I suppose it is just more efficient that way. If a person can get his task done faster, why wait for somebody else?

My first week in Shanghai has been quite the experience. Visiting beautiful Yuyuan Gardens, Tongli water town, the Shanghai Aquarium, and walking along the glass floor of the 100th floor in Shanghai World Financial Center has given me a glimpse of old and new Shanghai. A part of me is beginning to regret being “only gone for 4 months.”