The end?

the city I'm not ready to leave

With still about a month left of the program, it is strange to have to consider my “final thoughts” about the semester. As I sit here reflecting on which aspects of the experience were rewarding or problematic or how I may have changed because of my experiences, I am becoming more and more anxious and stressed. But if anything, I am glad that this assignment has come too early for me. The process of considering what I have gained from my experiences first makes me feel sad that I am leaving so soon, then it makes me feel guilty for the days I slept til 4 PM, and then, thankfully, it inspires me to cherish my remaining days here. I am reminded that although I still have a few weeks to go, my precious time abroad really is coming to an end. With so many places still left to visit, I can’t help but wonder if I have failed to make the best of my time. In general, one of the biggest struggles for me while abroad was balancing my life as a student/resident and as a tourist. A semester seems like a long time but it wasn’t long enough. In the week I visited Rio de Janeiro, I felt like I saw more than I have in all my time in Buenos Aires. As a tourist on vacation, my time is dedicated to hitting up every museum, every park, or every famous monument or neighborhood. But in Buenos Aires, I function much differently as a student living here. It seems like only yesterday that I was sitting in my dorm in NYC obsessing over my travel guides with my roommate. But more than half of the museums, sites, and daytrips I bookmarked with anticipation are places in or around Buenos Aires that I still haven’t visited. Hopefully I will accomplish some of these activities within the next month.

For me, studying abroad was like running away from everything and everyone that I knew. Somehow, living without any of my friends or family in a city that I lack the cultural skills to navigate has been a breath of fresh air. Since I arrived here I felt free…no one knew me and I knew no one, which left no space for preconceptions or strings attached. I have had many bad times in Buenos Aires but for some reason I love this city more than anywhere else. I have learned quite a lot about myself throughout this semester and I have changed in many ways, mostly in personal ways. I am most satisfied with the different people I have met…the friends I have made both inside and outside of the program.