Gender Roles in The Comfort of Strangers

This novel definitely left me in a state of shock. It was perhaps one of the easiest/quickest reads we have had so far, and definitely one of the most haunting. There are so many aspects of the novel that are worth delving into, but one of the most intriguing and broad themes presented is that of gender and gender roles. Colin and Mary's open non-subservient relationship juxtaposed with Robert and Caroline's male-dominated masochistic relationship represent two extremes of the gender spectrum.

It is said in the book that sometimes Colin and Mary could hardly believe that they were two separate people. They joked about handcuffing themselves together and throwing away the key, and their closeness was eventually described as parasitic. Their conversations were balanced; neither person spoke more than the other. They were equally dependent on each other, very different from a male-dominated relationship. Colin was also often described as angelic, feminine, and even childlike. His "femininity" serves to completely throw out any semblance of subservience in their relationship. Mary was free to make her own decisions; she would leave the hotel on her own, and take part in her own activities (like yoga), which is completely different from Caroline's role in her relationship with Robert, or lack thereof.

Robert and Caroline can be seen as Colin and Mary's "relationship foil." Caroline is completely dominated, both mentally and physically. Their intensely abusive sex life contrasts with Colin and Mary's gentle and mutually gratifying sex life. Caroline is sexually dominated to the point of debilitation while Mary is accommodated, yet both enjoy their respective sex lives. Robert's masculinity contrasts deeply to Colin's; he is physically more masculine and exerts more power over his wife than Colin does over Mary. Perhaps Robert's impotence pushes him to exert his masculinity more forcefully in order to compensate. It is interesting that although Robert is deeply concerned with his own masculinity and exerting the power that he feels comes with it, he is unashamedly obsessed with a man.

There is no doubt that gender within the novel, as well as masculinity versus femininity, plays a large role and is often ambiguous. Robert's masculinity along with his desire is a destructive force, and although Mary is not physically dominated by masculine power, she is still forced to look on helplessly as Colin is "destroyed." Even Caroline has more power than Mary at this point in the novel. The characters' roles in their respective relationships essentially shift throughout the novel, creating an ambiguity between gender and gender roles.