I really don't relate......yet?

Behind me is the San Marco Square, mentioned in the book What is weird about this book is it is like middle school crushes all over again in the mind of a 50-YEAR-OLD MAN! I mean, in all honesty, we all know that at some point in our lives it was actually this traumatizing to have a chance encounter with a crush, to maybe finally have the courage to say, “Hi” to her and thus you start to know the very moment that she enters every single room. But this becomes a little too creepy because his entire day becomes scheduled upon stalking his affection. On top of it all, there is an inexcusable age difference. It doesn’t bother me at all that his affections are towards another person of the same sex, but that they are toward somebody at least 36 years his younger! This is the part that begins to freak me out a little bit.
Though it is difficult for me to look past and understand the story, I think that it may be a story about traveling to a place where you do not have to be yourself and thus begin to behave more freely and act on your emotions rather than what society has taught you. When you are younger you are seeing the world for the first time and your excitement about exploring this grand place is enormous. Once you begin to feel that you’ve seen it all, that is when you begin to feel old and like you’ve run your race, so to speak. Any opportunity you now get to rekindle the youngster in you is precious. This is why, I believe, Aschenbach becomes obsessed with Tadzio, this silent pursuit of his makes Aschenbach feel young once again. As it stands, I do not connect with Aschenbach at all, I have no way of relating to the main story, but I guess that that might be due to my severe lack in years, at only 18 I am thankful that there is still much more to this world for me to explore.