Looking back while standing still. And always moving forward.

the motion of travel: I took this from the train. I could never forget the feeling.

I am sitting in NYU’s academic building. The computer lab is empty except for me, and the typing on my keyboard seems to echo and bounce from wall to wall despite the breeze flowing through a half-open window. The other students are outside, I assume, trying to soak in as much of the Prague sun that there is left for us American students.

It’s strange that almost four months have passed since I arrived here. This past weekend, my father and sister visited, and I was able to easily guide them down streets that I once had nearly cried over. I have written about the winding paths and unsteady cobblestone streets of the city where I have lived for the past semester, and the feelings of uncertainty and frustration while traveling abroad. These feelings have not gone away, but rather, I have let go of my feelings of confusing or lack of understanding at a culture I will probably never truly understand.

The Czech Republic is truly a place unlike any other in the world. Despite my ancestry originating from a region that was once Czechoslovakia, there was little that I really knew about what it would be like to live here. But then again, I don’t think that there is anything anyone could have told me to prepare myself for the months to come.

I was flooded with questions about why I was taking this journey, or what I was expecting to do when I got there. Frankly, I had no idea how to answer any of them. I was excited about the uncertainty and lack of rigidity that I had become repulsed by, living in environments where I felt I could easily predict or expect days to go according to something I knew well. I bought a train pass, ready to explore the European continent and come back with stories that would surprise or entertain.

The things I have learned while abroad are not facts that I can reword in an essay. They are not bullet points that I can write down on a resume. They are not even concrete stories, or photos, or emotions that I can describe or show to others.

Today I was in a museum in Prague, and began to think about the ideas behind cubist and modern art. To see the world from multiple perspectives, to understand and attempt to explore the dynamism of life and all that occurs in each moment. All the senses, the various vantage points, the way that time passes… perhaps the only way I will be able to understand my experience here is in creating a work of art. After all, travel is an art, and this course is named as such not only because it is a writing-based course, but because the explanations and reflections we all have been discussing here in our blogs, on this website, are a form of art. To record our lives as they are going on, and to be able to re-read them, and share the stories and thoughts with others, is something that our generation is able to explore unlike any before us. The internet has changed our lives. I would have had a completely different experience here if I was not able to keep in close communication with my friends and family through the online portal.

When I get home, I know for certain that I will try to be more “grown up” and continue to mature. This is more of a result of passing time, than my studying abroad. Of course I will have changed, but I change regardless of this experience. To focus on “changes” is somewhat silly to me. I want to focus on what I will bring back with me, and what will stay the same. I will continue to love traveling, and remember all that I have experienced. Of course I will forget some things, and will probably revert to some of my old habits. But what I have done here is priceless, and I am so glad that I’ve had an output such as this to be able to see my growth as it was happening. My thoughts, my experiences… these do not define me as a person. But they most definitely help.

Years from now, I will look back on this experience as a collection of moments. I’m not sure what I will remember exactly, but I know that the memories will make me smile, perhaps roll my eyes, and sigh. This is something I will never forget.