On Memorializing

Unofficial Princess Di Memorial

In Ian Frazier's collection of essays, Gone To New York, he includes a piece about the shooting of a drama teacher in Prospect Park and how the place where the man was shot becomes a memorial for him. When people die tragically, say, in an accident or at the hand of another, the place in which the die or another place connected to them is often turned into a memorial space, either officially or unofficially. In Frazier's essay "To Mr. Winslow", the memorial is an unofficial one and grows slowly and then, as the memory of the murder fades, it disappears. As a child driving along long empty roads in New Zealand on the way to my grandmother's, we often passed white crosses at the side of the road, some greying and battered by rain and time, others freshly painted and surrounded by flowers and candles. Yet if a man were to have a heart attack and die on the sidewalk, it is unlikely a memorial would be created in that place. Memorials mark places where someone has been killed, either by another or by misfortune, but always the person has been "killed", they have not simply "died". In a situation like this, the victims are often taken unexpectedly from friends, families and communities, therefore creating a void in the lives of those who have been left behind. Memorials - wreaths, candles, inscriptions, crosses; these are all ways in which the grief-stricken may try to not only ease their pain, but fill a void. Also, someone who has died tragically and unexpectedly, is often deemed to be more worth remembering and commemorating (by a community) than an 60 year old man who dies of liver disease or an 80 year old woman who dies in her sleep. These deaths are also cause for much grief among family and friends, but they are explainable, inevitable. In Paris, a statue of a torch, officially a copy of the torch of the statue of liberty and a sign of French-American friendship sits over a tunnel along the quais near the Place d'Alma. Unofficially the torch has been turned into a memorial for Princess Diana, who died in the tunnel underneath. Though flowers and mementos placed at the flame for Diana are periodically removed, it seems that there is always some wreath or single bloom or damp ribbon clinging to the statue. This is an example of a memorial that continues to exist in people's minds and memories and continues to be visited by those who loved the Princess. When I moved to Paris as a child, my parents pointed out the 13th pillar in the tunnel that the car has collided with and the flame, surrounded by tourists. I always knew that the flame was built long before Diana's death, but until I did some research for this blog post I had no idea what it was for. Many people are still under the misapprehension that the flame was built and placed as a memorial for Princess Di. Now I know, though I will always think of that statue as Diana's memorial. Places can be comforting to people in the absence of a lost one, a place in which they can be formally remembered and a in which we sometimes believe their spirit resides. Many people will talk to dead loved ones only when they visit the grave, and we feel that a person's memory can be maintained and revived by placing flowers or notes in a place. Public memorials and cemeteries are a manifestation of society's continued need to honor the dead in public and have a place in which the deceased shall always reside and where those who grieve can establish a connection with the deceased. And when a memorial disappears? Does this mean some sort of closure has been attained? Or have we just forgotten?

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