My Trip To The Land of No Food: Litomysl, Southern Moravia

Litomysl Main SquareOn the way back from an NYU-sponsored trip to the beautiful and historic town of Olomouc, a rather small college town a few hours outside of Prague, I was finally falling asleep on the bus when I was disturbed by feedback on the bus’s crackling p.a. system. Rather irritated and annoyed, I listened half-heartedly to the news that we were stopping at a small town in Moravia called Litomysl. Half enthused, I attempted to drift off to sleep, but to no avail. As we pulled into town, it was as if we entered a completely different dimension. Warm sunlight brushed upon my skin; Vitamin D production at last! Sunlight flooded the bus, inciting giggles and shrieks of delight from my fellow NYU in Prague students, as this was a stark contrast to the usually gloomy and drizzly weather in Prague. Rather than joining the excitement that permeated the air on the bus, I just wished everyone would shut the hell up. I was tired and irritable, after a long night the day before, though I realize now that it was mostly my doing. Blinds were suddenly pulled up onboard on the large panoramic windows and despite my best attempts to have the person next to me close them again, they revealed a town of glittering cobblestone that could belong in any snow globe. Coming up a steep incline, the bus pulled to a halt as everyone onboard eagerly waited to go outside and explore. Our tour guide Marie Homerova, was almost knocked down in the process. Rather than being excited to see the sights of the city, I thought this would more than anything make an excellent excuse to go grab a bite to eat, as I realized soon after stepping off the bus that I was famished. Golds and ornamentation laid upon the tops of buildings glinted in the sunlight, beckoning us to come forward. All around me lay beautiful baroque architecture that I imagined would resemble what Prague’s Old Town Square would look like if it became the basis an entire town. All around us were awe-inspiring beauty, yet as I looked around I stood dumbfounded. Where was everyone? No smell of sweet bread filled the air, no child running to the alarm of its parents, no dog poop to step on as in Prague? It was a European edition of the Twilight Zone come to life. Despite this indiscretion, I attempted to find nourishment of some kind. So for the next half-hour, I walked about absentmindedly, not thinking it would be much trouble to find food at lunchtime. Oh, how I was wrong. Meandering through the arched side streets and main square, every restaurant door was locked, and not one scent of a freshly cooked meal whiffed into my nostrils. Chasing pavement on the sides of the main square, I looked around manically. There was no sign of activity to be found in this petite and picturesque town. My stomach growled in panic as I started to wonder that this must be similar to what it would be like to be an Olsen twin. My stomach screamed “feed me!” and I couldn’t do anything to help. At last, I came upon a Czech resident who I then asked, “Mluvite Anglicky?” to wish they said “Ne”, meaning no, in response to my hopeful inquisition as to if they spoke English or not. I sighed in despair. If only my ignorance had taken a break during Intensive Czech lessons during the first week in Prague. How could I expect anyone here to speak to me in English? We were far from any metropolis where that would be necessary. Tired and disappointed, and my stomach about to eat itself whole, I looked up only to find a castle upon a hilltop mocking me, looking down upon me as I stood hunched over and hungry. “Curse you Litomysl!”, I thought as my face contorted with rage. Behind me, I heard a familiar gleeful ringing as the sound of an automatic door swiftly whooshed open. I turned around to find people from the NYU Program eating sandwiches and walking around laughing. Jaw to the floor, I wondered where in this almost abandoned town, they were able to find the solution to my stomach’s impressive famine acoustics. Looking ever so slightly upwards, there it was, in front of me the whole time, written in English nonetheless, a sign maliciously reading the word “food”.

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