the myth, dispelled

doisneau's kiss

Note: I know this is in no way an accurate portrayal of all French guys, and it's not very fair to them. Still, this all is true in reference to me.

People keep asking me why I'm not going out with anybody since I'm in Paris! of all places. Here's why: for one, I hardly know any of the French. The professors are still on strike (and may be so for the next three years. THREE years, until the next election and Sarko gets kicked out) so I can't take any classes at the French universities, which drastically reduces my chances of getting to know ANY French people. Then we're suppose to have language partners, but the coordinator got the email of mine wrong, so I don't have one. None of my american friends really have French friends either. Other than that, the best chance of meeting people is in a club. The problem with clubs here though, is that they're either really sketchy, or they're really elitist, meaning they don't let you in unless you're a model or a multimillionaire. I don't like the former, and I'm not the latter. Also, clubbing about once a month is more than enough for me, I don't like dancing with guys (because guys are skeevy) and besides, do I actually want to to out with a guy who hits on random girls in a club?

Then there's the French system of dating, which follows as such: boy meets girl (whether either is attached is often immaterial), boy asks for girl's number, asks her out within a day, they hook up on first date, see each other everyday for the next couple of weeks an then break up. Of course, this doesn't hold true for ALL relationships (or the French would've died out centuries ago) but that's the way people whom I know who date do it. Being in a normal relationship already drives me crazy, I think doing that would reduce me to a blubbering pile of digested ice cream.

And finally, French guys themselves. I've given my contact to a couple of guys then promptly ignored them, because not actually being able to recognize the person you're supposedly going on a date with is a little awkward. And anyway, in order to date someone, one has to like a person first (for me, at least). I've yet to find someone I can actually muster up even the vaguest interest about. Aaaand here's why. The following is an online conversation with a guy I met a couple of weeks ago, who asked me for directions to the metro. (There's another amusing story there, but I'll save it.) Yes, I gave him my email (thank god not anything else) and he was a lot less creepy in real life than he comes across online. Still, after this I blocked him.

Julien: have you got a boyfriend?

.kass. : nope

Julien : haaa

Julien : ok

Julien : why?

.kass. : huh?

.kass. : why what?

Julien : why are you alone?

Julien : single?

Julien : you are very nice and pretty

.kass. : er

.kass. : i have no idea how to answer that

Julien : lol

Julien : ok

Julien : meet me

Julien : ok?

[insert pause here where I didn't respond]

Julien : how is singapour?

Julien : can you just one hour tomorow?

.kass. : i really can't, sorry

.kass. : my project is group work, which means that my time issn't my own

Julien : yes but after your project

Julien : if you agree, i promise you a kiss tomorow lol

Julien : so?

Julien : so??

.kass. : i'm sorry, i really really can't

Julien : okJulien : even if i promise you a kiss??

.kass. : er

.kass. : no offense, but i don't really want one

Julien : lol

Julien : i don't want to kiss you but it is a blackmail

Julien : blackmail = chantage?

.kass. : chantage?

Julien : oui

Julien : tu connais en francais? le chantage?

Julien : it is not important

.kass. : non, desolée

Julien : i don"t want to kiss youJulien : just to speak with you about singapour

.kass. : again, still no time

.kass. : sorry

Julien : ok no problem

Julien : but don't think i want to kiss you please because i have a wife

Julien : (girlfriend)