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The Science of Dining in Paris
The Aftermath of a Parisian Meal
Over the past two months, I’ve grown very comfortable in France. While I don’t have any French friends or a perfect French accent, I feel pretty immersed in the lifestyle here. Despite my assimilation, I am still painfully uncomfortable in restaurants. From sitting down to paying, it’s an anxiety-ridden experience.
First there’s getting a table. Do I ask to be seated? Are the tables outside only for drinks? This is where the anxiety starts. I love the French and the French culture so I do not want to offend anyone’s sensibilities. Then we move on to viewing the menu. This sounds simple, however, many restaurants in Paris don’t have as many menus as they do chairs so, more often then not, you have to wait for one. But how long do you wait before asking for one? Once you get the menu, it takes anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes for someone to take your order. How long is too long?
Next we have the main event. Ordering. I’d imagine that this step would be simpler for someone who is not vegetarian, but for someone who is, it is considerably more difficult. Can I ask for something sans jambon? Don’t even think about asking for egg whites. On top of that, asking for extra dressing or butter is interdit. Also, how do you get the servers attention? Saying “Garcon!” seems rude, though the French do it.
Then there’s eating. Do I have to hold the fork and knife in the appropriate hands? Can I put them down? Is it ok to answer my phone? As if I didn’t have enough anxiety about eating in the first place, this brings my food issues to a whole new level.
Finally, at the end of the meal, you must ask for l’addition, because otherwise no one will bring it to you. It seems that in general, the French prefer cash, and American credit cards always seem to cause a problem. In France, you don’t have to tip, which is great for students who want to save money, but at the same time I always find myself reluctant not to leave one. So is 1 euro condescending? Is 5 too extravagant? Hell, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I ever will. At least the food was good.
Location
Paris
I think there's something
I think there's something inherently stressful or uncomfortable or something (I can't think of the right word) about eating out in general. It's having someone prepare and serve your basic sustenance for you, and to me, it always smacks of elitism. You want to be able to sit down, get your food, pay, and leave on your schedule, but the cultural acceptability of that is really tricky to balance. Here in the Czech Republic, service people in general, from the subway ticket lady to the waitstaff even in nice restaurants can be downright rude, so eating out is always something of a battle, but at least we generally know what we're up against.
I have the same issue with
I have the same issue with tipping here in London. People here usually don't tip. Sometimes it's included, but it's mostly not. We haven't really tipped people here but it's something I'm used to doing, especially at restaurants. It feels very weird to just walk out, without having left anything on the table.
I also get really intimidated
I also get really intimidated going out to dinner in Paris! I just feel like so many little things—where to sit, how to behave, when to order—are simply understood by the French, and I'm always nervous that I'll get something wrong.. I guess it wouldn't be so grave to make a mistake, but it's still embarrassing, and I think I still carefully think out plenty of my interactions with French people to avoid any potential embarrassment. I think you're supposed to call the waiter Monsieur or Madame, and I think you're supposed to hold the knife in your right hand and the fork in your left, which is pretty logical but which I am completely incapable of doing, no matter how many times I try.