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"You know it's clear that tonight we belong in this place..."
"Brat Pack": Rachel, Mike, Annie, Me, Sean, Brittany, Keely, and Travis minutes before the tears and the traveling began.
"So I stand back to reflect in this town I hate
At least just for a second, I think I might stay"
Okay, step back from the pop-punk lyrics for a minute.
For my entire life I had one destination I mind. 18-odd years in Ypsilanti, Michigan were all spent building up to my grand travel. Before I even knew what Gallatin or the concept of "individualized study" was, I knew that I was going to live in this giant city. I knew that little Ypsilanti was too small and too suburban and too backwards to contain all the ideas and concepts flying through my head.
So why is it that the most difficult thing I have ever done is leave that stupid town?
I can’t just say that it’s the people. Mike, Sean, Brittany, Annie, Dotey, Travis, Keely, Rachel, Martha, Ali, Analea - these people anchored me and supported me and were more like family than anyone I share blood relations to. Even thinking about one of their faces on the morning of my flight makes me want to tear up and I have spent a decent amount of time since I left my driveway doing just that.
I anticipated the kind of sadness and longing that comes from leaving people you love and I have done my best to combat it through texts, calls, videochat, letters, and Facebook messages.
What I didn’t expect to miss were the empty streets, the winding bike trails in subdivisions and parks, the quiet of the empty high school lacrosse field at night, the solitude to be found in so many places, the way a road looks from the driver's seat when you have a car full of loud kids, and the stars.
There aren’t any stars in my new home, and that makes me feel empty and sad in a very painful and personal way.
I know that I need to be here, and I know that Gallatin offers unparalleled opportunities to someone like me. I know that any future I might have in the comic book industry is based right here in the city. I know that the friends that I am making now are great people and I know that a good number of them will grow to be as close as some of the people still in Ypsilanti.
I always knew that this grand travel was coming.
I just thought I would be happier when I reached my final destination.
[Sorry this is so long, I just kind of kept going. I guess I will learn to pare it down in my writing seminars!]
i feel the same way about
i feel the same way about leaving. i'm from a small town in rhode island and I miss it so much. i hated it a lot of the time I was there but over the summer i started to love it a lot because i knew i was moving. then when i left it sort of felt like my childhood was being torn away from me. it just takes time i guess.
and i know exactly what you mean about the stars.
I feel almost exactly the
I feel almost exactly the same. I miss my home town more than I imagined - beyond my dad and my dog, I miss the ocean and the smell of magnolias and the cruiser bicycles and the park and the streets and the high ways and the bay. And I was almost expecting to brush it all off, like I have almost every other place I've lived. It's a little unsettling, but I guess I'll just have to look at it as my next great challenge.
in response
yeah i couldn't agree more with a lot of those things--its all mixed feelings all the way home. Small towns always have big memories.
"that is that, it's like it's all we have."
I love the rocket summer, first off.
...and i understand where you're coming from too. i have my own brat pack back in my dumb town and leaving them was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. I think leaving made me appreciate my dumb town and realize that it really wasn't so dumb and that it is in fact a huge part of who i am. If I hadn't left, I would have never realized how important it actually is to me.