View from my apartment. One last Time.I asked to extend this final entry to this week because I still had about a month left until I leave Buenos Aires and return home. I'm still having a hard time truly reflecting on my experiences because I'm still experiencing as I still have two weeks left. I'm not sure I will be able to have any true final thoughts on my time here until I'm back home, away from Buenos Aires, and am left alone with my thoughts without any bias. Returning back home is nothing short of a bittersweet sentiment for me. I've felt incredibly homesick for family, friends and loved ones and the feeling of being so far away from a world where you have responsibilities and obligations is so fantastic, yet worrisome when you know you have to return home to confront them. I wonder, though, if I've been able to spend my time in Buenos Aires wisely. Just a couple of days ago, I literally ventured 2-3 blocks from my house and discovered things that I had no idea was there. Had I known that there was a supermarket, a tea connection and a blockbuster so close to my house, I would have looked at my neighborhood in such a different manner. I still haven't done things that are so basic to visiting Buenos Aires: shopping at the San Telmo fair, visiting MALBA, the planetarium, etc. I think back to those drunken nights and hangover-filled mornings that, in retrospect, seem so unnecessary. Riding home today after visiting the San Telmo fair, I kept my eyes glued to the windows of the collectivo, falling in love with Buenos Aires all over again. Knowing that I only have 12 days left to enjoy Buenos Aires until I have to return to the real world and quit playing expat, has me feeling increasingly anxious. Gone are the days that I can make fall promises to visit that fabulous exhibition or listen to independent bands at the obilesco. My only regret, is having not traveled more of Argentina. I seriously can't wait to come back.

I never thought, in a million years, that I would be able to say that Argentina has made me find myself. But boy, have I. When you're out of your comfort zone and familiar surroundings and have a bunch of opportunities laid before you, both negative and positive, you learn about where your values are or where they aren't. My opinions have changed on many things, my opinions have been validated by many experiences and I'm loving every minute of learning about myself. My travels here have caused me to reflect on who I am and what kind of person I'm working to be and where I hope to go. On a less serious note, I've found new music interests, bought some fabulous books and have made new friends. This semester has been such a chaotic one, but it's been mine.

misty paris

The semester is dwindling to its last legs now, and every conversation I've had in the last two weeks has been punctuated with someone saying "I can't believe it's ending so SOON!" and everyone falling into momentary depression. One of my friends has taken to yelling out at random points whenever it hits him that his days left here are in the single digits. Everyone is busy running around and cramming as much as possible in to one day in order to finish their to-do list.

Personally, it's a rather odd mix, because it’s the end… but not quite. I'm terribly sad that the semester is almost over because it's been the most fun I've ever had in college by far. Since the programme is so tiny – 150 people in total - NYU in Paris has all the closeness of a tiny liberal arts college. But by virtue of being in Paris, this semester not only gave us the chance to explore one of the most amazing cities in the world (I’m just a little bit biased), but a springboard to the rest of Europe too.

But it’s not quite the end of Paris for me either, because I’ll be returning in the fall. However, it’ll be with an entirely new group of people, which by all accounts, makes for a vastly different experience. I have a feeling it’ll be slightly odd to come back after spending four months at home. Things will seem so familiar, yet not. Moreover, most of next semester's students will never have been to Paris before. Things that will seem incredible to them will be things I've long since gotten used to, while everything new to me will be compounded with the question, “Why have I never seen this before?”

Whatever happens, I'm glad I'm coming back, because I'm not done with Paris yet. I’ll be able to do the things that I always intended to do this semester but never got around to, and rediscover my favourite places. After all, there're still a thousand museums to see, arrondissements to explore, cafés to discover and the rest of france to conquer.

the city I'm not ready to leave

With still about a month left of the program, it is strange to have to consider my “final thoughts” about the semester. As I sit here reflecting on which aspects of the experience were rewarding or problematic or how I may have changed because of my experiences, I am becoming more and more anxious and stressed. But if anything, I am glad that this assignment has come too early for me. The process of considering what I have gained from my experiences first makes me feel sad that I am leaving so soon, then it makes me feel guilty for the days I slept til 4 PM, and then, thankfully, it inspires me to cherish my remaining days here. I am reminded that although I still have a few weeks to go, my precious time abroad really is coming to an end. With so many places still left to visit, I can’t help but wonder if I have failed to make the best of my time. In general, one of the biggest struggles for me while abroad was balancing my life as a student/resident and as a tourist. A semester seems like a long time but it wasn’t long enough. In the week I visited Rio de Janeiro, I felt like I saw more than I have in all my time in Buenos Aires. As a tourist on vacation, my time is dedicated to hitting up every museum, every park, or every famous monument or neighborhood. But in Buenos Aires, I function much differently as a student living here. It seems like only yesterday that I was sitting in my dorm in NYC obsessing over my travel guides with my roommate. But more than half of the museums, sites, and daytrips I bookmarked with anticipation are places in or around Buenos Aires that I still haven’t visited. Hopefully I will accomplish some of these activities within the next month.

For me, studying abroad was like running away from everything and everyone that I knew. Somehow, living without any of my friends or family in a city that I lack the cultural skills to navigate has been a breath of fresh air. Since I arrived here I felt free…no one knew me and I knew no one, which left no space for preconceptions or strings attached. I have had many bad times in Buenos Aires but for some reason I love this city more than anywhere else. I have learned quite a lot about myself throughout this semester and I have changed in many ways, mostly in personal ways. I am most satisfied with the different people I have met…the friends I have made both inside and outside of the program.

The American Roadtrip: A great picture of two bloggers in Bariloche. Photograph by Evelyn Astor.I’ve really enjoyed Study Abroad but it hasn’t felt like a vacation. While I have had the least work in Buenos Aires I am not probably building my worst GPA ever. What's more, I don’t quite care. Early on I saw that I could either spend as much time as possible doing work and trying to earn good marks but I realized that, at least for me, it might not pay off. I tend to work long hours and get the same or poorer grades than my classmates. I decided that as long as I was going to be here I would consciously try to experience as much as possible while trying my best to get good grades and, more importantly, learn.

It has been an interesting social experiment. I have spent many (though I’d say an average) amount of nights staying out until 4 or 6 AM. I’ve developed a taste for Fernet branca and Coca-cola. I have had some of the best times of my life—that I can remember. I’ve also felt very lonely at times. These are the swings of Study-Abroad which rings of high-school more than college. Actually, much about study abroad echoes the social situations of those formative years. A relatively small group of young adults are dropped in a new environment and though they are unclosed in a semi-permeable bubble the new surroundings (or something else) cause them to jump for friend groups and mates. I have gotten to know a few people in this program quite well but I still feel like a stranger to most. Is this a bad thing? No, yet when our group split up to either go to Paraguay or Salta last weekend I got to know kids that I had not spoken to before and now I wish I had more time with them before we jet back home and blend into the massive student body in the fall. I will have to be better about staying in touch with people who I’ve studied abroad with. Maybe that is what I hope will change most when I return—my difficulty with keeping up with good people. It was also difficult not to think about my worries about social situations and meshing with others on this trip. While I tried to be more care-free, in-the-moment and all that I think I learned that being in a new place can either help or hinder getting one’s groove (so to speak). It’s really up to the person.

I don’t want to end this class and (in a way) this program thinking along such difficult lines. Studying abroad has made me more comfortable with my self in relation to other people more than it has left me sensitized to social interaction. I have enjoyed most all my classes (though Economics needs to be retooled) and have definitely improved at speaking Spanish. I am very happy with my home stay and think that it is one of the best ways to separate oneself from the familiar.

I only have one solid recommendation. I wish NYU Study Abroad made it easier to take classes at other schools in Buenos Aires. I understand this goes against the program’s distinction and organization but that is why I say it. Every argentine who asked me where I studied assumed I was an exchange student or taking classes at UBA or some other school. I know some students in this program who stayed two semesters and, in the second, took some classes outside. I’ve heard that it was difficult for them to set this up. It should not have been.

Things I will remember years from now:

-Hanging with the Bohemians until dawn on Av. Independencia

-My first harmonica lesson

-Radiohead at Club Ciudad

-Bariloche with Liz, David, Summer, and Evelyn

-My night in a tent at the foot of volcan Lanín

-The Village Recoleta movie theater

-Avenida 9 de Julio and Santa fe

-Drinking mate with Malvinas veterans

-Being there when Alfonsin died

-Reading at the Feria del Libro

-Learning to walk before I could tango

On the Road AgainI still feel very far away from the end even though I know it’s right around the corner. I hope when I get there my feelings for Buenos Aires will be as positive as the final thoughts I’ve been reading from other people’s blogs, but I’m not sure if they will be. My feelings about Buenos Aires, Argentina, studying abroad in general, swing daily. It has been an experience of peaks and valleys, highs and lows, and it’s left me with a general feeling of uncertainty. I have a lot of people wrote about how much they have grown, and maybe I’m just too in the thick of it right now to notice, but I’m not sure if I’ve grown at all in any real, or noticeable way. I am honestly racking my brain right now to try and think of some concrete change I can write about… nothing is coming and it actually makes me sad. Now I’m wondering if I kept myself from changing somehow? Or if I did not come in with enough of an open mind? I’m worried about how I will look back on this experience, if in the end it’s just been an expensive and privileged waste of time.

I am grateful for are the friends I have made in the program, including one who will be my roommate in New York. I am excited to see how the connections I have made in Buenos Aires will change my experience of New York when I get back.

Now for what NYU can do to make NYU in Buenos Aires a better program; they can offer better classes! I have not met a single person in the program who does not have at least one class they absolutely hate, and many people have two or three. It is incredibly rare to hear someone raving about a class. It is even rare to hear someone honestly express that they will take much, if anything away from their classes here. I am perfectly satisfied with two of my classes, reasonably satisfied with one, and then there is my fourth class, the class that makes me miserable for an hour and a half every Monday and Wednesday. If you know someone who is studying abroad in Buenos Aires next semester, I urge you to direct them to someone who has done it already if only for a list of classes to avoid at all costs. It is hard to take, even a single class that feels like such an utter waste of time, when you are living in a city you may never have the chance to visit again.

Now that I have written the most negative post I could have created, I would like to say that I absolutely do not regret the experience, how could I? And writing “final thoughts” when you are still a month away from having them really means they are just present thoughts, and like I said they change everyday, and happen to be on a down swing right now. Understandably, I’ve been writing blogs posts all day long. Well, goodbye blog! You’ve caused me stress, pushed me to think, taught me to write really fast, and I’ll miss you!

Goodbye ParisThe most valuable thing that I will take away from this year is speaking French. It has always been a dream of mine to know what it was like to speak another language, and I don’t intend to let it go. It has also taught me that I am more adaptable and flexible than I thought. It has been quite an experience to acclimate myself to French customs and manners (and sometimes lack thereof).
It’s hard to look back and reflect on the entirety of the experience, because there were so many moments that meant so many different things to me. I also think that I’m not ready to reflect yet. It’s still my life, my reality. I can’t imagine not waking up in my bed, saying good morning to the princess and the count, going for a run, seeing my friends, going to my favorite bars, just being here. I can’t think about what it meant to study abroad, because right now it just looks like my life.
I do know that when I go back to New York, it will be a shock to no longer have culture shock, or more accurately, a cultural barrier. It will be weird to walk into a party of strangers and just be one of the crowd, instead of the “American girl,” the novelty piece. It will be interesting when there is no longer any language barrier. And I wonder if my wardrobe will stay as centered around neutral colors as it has become.
But most of all, I think it will be weird to be living somewhere permanently. For the past three years I have lived knowing that I will be moving three thousand miles at the end of the year. That means no long-term relationships, friendships, houses, or financial decisions. But that also means, take advantage of everything you have because it will all be over too soon. Will I be as motivated to live life to the fullest if I know that New York will be there next month and every month after that? I hope so, but I think only my favorite French sentence applies, “On va voir, on va voir.”

Sanya, Hainan IslandTo say the least, it has been a very interesting semester. I traveled more in 3 months than I have my whole life. Soon I have to say goodbye to my professors, the friends I have made here, and this blog. Almost brings a tear to my eye, almost. I am excited to go back to New York for the summer but Shanghai will be sorely missed. My local professors, who I look forward to seeing every class day will be sorely missed. It’s a strange feeling, knowing something is ephemeral and trying to appreciate it all as its happening. Such is life.

The personal growth I have experienced while in Shanghai is priceless. My attitude towards the world has changed drastically as has my outlook on life. I still remember packing my bags and not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what it was going to be like living in a foreign place and not knowing a single person in the program. Putting myself out there this semester has truly opened my eyes. Everything from climbing the Great Wall in Beijing, to seeing the Olympic Village in person, to the 3-hour hike up Mount Emei, to spring break in Sanya, this trip has been most memorable. I enjoyed every moment of the 17 hour train ride back to Shanghai from Xi’An after visiting the Terracotta Warriors. I enjoyed every moment of trying gum-numbing ma la spicy food in Chengdu, even if the pain was unbearable. I fell in love with Shanghai the moment this program started and have already made plans to come back in 2010 for the World Expo, possibly staying even longer if I can find a job here.

The biggest problem I faced was getting myself to do things I wouldn’t normally do. The excuse was easy, I was in a foreign country so why not? My attitude towards a lot of things have changed and I know I am a different person from 4 months ago. Years from now I will look back at all the photos I took of the trip and no doubt be nostalgic, whether I’m in New York, Shanghai, or another city at the time I will always remember this life changing trip.

My final thoughts on London... it's almost unbearable to think about. My semester abroad is coming to a close and it's a bittersweet moment. I keep getting conflicting emotions. One moment I am thankful that I am going to be flying home soon, the next I am almost in tears when I think about leaving this place. It's strange to think that just fifteen weeks ago I was at home, nervous and anxious about boarding the plane to Heathrow Airport. Now, I will be boarding the same plane, but heading in the opposite direction. 

Goodbye London...

London was always the fantasy city for me. The place I always wanted to travel to, the place I always wanted to live in. This opportunity to study abroad was screaming out to me and it would have been stupid for me to ignore it. Four months was all it took for me to realize that London really was all that I thought it would be, and so much more. Actually, four months isn't right. It only took me a week. Within that week I was still trying to get over the fact that I was actually living in a different country; it was the adjustment period. After that, after I was comfortable, I was able to explore the city and find the wonderful qualities about it that originally drew me into this country. At first it was only a far off fantasy, but NYU made it a reality.

I honestly couldn't begin to tell you about the most rewarding aspect of studying abroad here. To be sentimental, it was everything that was rewarding. There where some difficult times, but then again, there where some unbelievable times. To travel with friends, to live in a culture so far and different from my own, it was unexplainable. I think for anyone to truly understand what a student who studies abroad experiences, one must simply take part in it. Its a difficult experience to sum up into words. You can only know by living it. 

Before I studied abroad, I made an effort to hear from other students about their experiences through the program. The one thing that was a recurring topic was the impact I would have when coming home. Everyone stressed how differently it would be, how I would have to adjust once I got back to New York. At the time, I didn't understand, but now that I have been away for four months I can understand what they meant. It's something I can not explain, but London and New York are so different that it can't possibly be easy to get back into the swing of the city. I am actually nervous for my transition. 

I can't come up with anything to change during my semester abroad. It was a truly enjoyable experience and I have come away with some great friends and some unforgettable memories. 

Paris, Je T'aime

Recently, while thinking over my time spent in Paris, I realized that, shamefully, I have taken no more than a dozen photos of the city I've been living in for the past five months. It's not that I don't have a camera (I bought myself an expensive Nikon a week before I came) and it's not that I haven't seen some amazing things (the sun setting pink and green over the gold top of Invalides, the river in the rain raging brown against blue against the sky, smiles and light, windows and night, just to name a few...) I just never seemed to have my camera on me at the right time. When I was traveling, I was ready every day. I have hundreds of pictures of Dublin, Berlin, and Spain. But Paris, this place I've lived, no more than a few early shots of my apartment? At first I was disgusted, then disappointed, then suddenly sad. But then I began to realize it didn't matter as much as I thought it did. Those moments, those picturesque shots, though not captured on film, will always be in my memory. Though I may not be able to look back on them physically, I will be able to transport myself back, mentally, and see them, be there, feel them all over again. It's maybe even better, to not have wasted my time clunking around with a camera, and instead to have lived it all, cemented it in life experience. Because that's what this semester was about. Not bringing home photos to show off to my friends. Not setting up shots while the world moves around me. But living a new life, being in another world, and breathing in with every breath every bit of it around me.

I'm happy to say that's what I think I've accomplished. I have made friends and memories, seen beauty and bad, and done it all with my eyes open and lighted to the glory of living in a new place. I have a life here, one that will always be with me, traveling in my memory, in my being, in myself. I will look back on this time, revisit Paris and remember, walk down my street looking up at my old apartment windows  remembering the laughing nights I'd once spent inside. I'll walk past the school and peer inside the blue doors wondering what may be happening behind them, tour the neighborhood again and visit those same old restaurants at which I'd once dined, and wined, and smiled. I'll remember the city when I revisit it when I'm old, as the place I came when I was young, the place I turned twenty, the place I grew up. To me, that's what this program has been about. Not taking pictures or seeing sights or perfecting the language (though that is a plus). But living, seeing the world, becoming more of a person. It is only through seeing the rest of the world and the rest of the people that live in it, that we can even begin to understand our own place in the world, and understand our own life's potential. That is what I've learned being here. And to me, that knowledge is priceless. There may be ways I could've done better, more things I could've done, more pictures I could've taken. But to me, it doesn't matter. Looking back on these past months of my life, there's not a thing I would change of my life in Paris.

charles bridgeThough NYU is pretty limiting when it comes to the choice for study abroad, I am very happy with my decision to study in Prague. At first, I was debating between Paris and Prague and chose the latter because of classes. When I arrived here, I discovered my classes were canceled and was pretty upset about it because it made me second-guess my decision to study in Prague. Clearly, I gave it some time and really grew to like the people on my program.
I liked learning about Kafka’s life in Prague. I’m not a philosophy major but I did take a class on him this semester and knowing him simplifies the understanding of his works. Some of the most rewarding aspects of this experience were my trips outside of the Czech Republic. Cairo was hands down the most educational, culturally enlightening experience I have had.
It’s funny because prior to coming to Prague, even when I had been home in Chicago for a month, I was not missing New York. Now, I am craving it. I miss that city and everything it has to offer so much and didn’t realize this until I was gone. I’m sure the same feeling will come into fruition about Prague in the months to come.